the past that made me who i am today.

2007-06-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

Beginning of another week..
i'm feeling the blues again..
why can't weekends be longer..
anyway this is an important week for us..
progress report 1 this week..
needa update our superiors regardin our project..
i hope everything goes well..

if you fall..
i'll put you on my back..
and carry you..
We'll pull through..

The truest test of love is if you're willing to keep fighting for it..

2007-06-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

Spent my time thinking lately..
there's no point being emo and all..
it doesn't help at all..

love.patience.understanding.

I'll get to you no matter how long it'll take..
I'll pull through the hardest difficulties..
I'll do my best to make things right again..

I'll climb a million steps to get to you..

-gonewiththeold;anewme-

2007-06-08T21:02:00.000+08:00

Another week past..
the pieces of the project are coming together..
let's make things happen..

It was never gonna be easy..
didn't know it was this hard..
but i'll pull through as long as i got you..

Sometimes the going gets so tough..
i just sit there and tear..

Trying to give you the fairytale you want..

2007-06-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i just wonder..
am i that scary..
am i so difficult..
am i really that bad..
am i really worth the trouble..

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired..
~~and i failed to do so..~~

it's just not the same anymore..
~~neither is the love..~~
~~hurt and pain.~~

2007-05-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

We need to up pace and get things done..
deadlines need to be met..

Without you around..
time moves especially slow..
come back quick..
i miss you..

2007-05-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

Caught Pirates of the Carribean today..
the sequel was not disappointing at all..
nice follow up to it's predecessors
a star studded cast..
a must watch!

I'm so happy you're here with me again..
i'll miss you alot while you're gone..
bon voyage..

it's the little things, that make a difference..
it's the quest for love, that brings us life..
it's the dream of what could be, that makes it all worth while..
like you being by my side and love that only grows with time..

2007-05-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

That day looms and i don't know what to expect..
then again it's better not to expect anything..
cause expectations gives disappointment..
and i don't wanna feel that way..
just reminiscence the times we had..
keep the good, throw away the bad..

i love you..

How many chances can you give to the person you love?

-dyc?-

2007-05-21T18:47:00.000+08:00

i miss you..
i love you..

i did the unthinkable..

seeking solace in pain..

2007-05-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

Everything said has been from the heart..
i can't lose you..
not now..
not ever..

I love you.. Not only for what you are..
But for what I am.. When I am with you..

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.

2007-05-19T01:01:00.000+08:00

Words shared hurt..
feelings lay tattered..
confidence torn..
love remains..

Love will pull us through..

Waiting for an answer..
something that i wana hear..

2007-05-18T23:46:00.000+08:00

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

2007-05-17T19:04:00.000+08:00

Lengthy post tells bout problems..
i'd rather have none..
and not write..
but we'll all have our own sets of problems..
this is where i write mine down..

How fast things can change..
life is never predictable i guess..

Will things ever be the same again?
will you treat me lyk you use to..
will you see me lyk you use to..
will you hear me lyk you use to..
will you touch me lyk you use to..
will you smile at me lyk you use to..
and will you love me lyk you use to..

I know it's all my fault..
it's up to me to change and all..

I know you're angry..
i don't blame you for treating me this way..
all i need was encouragement..
care, concern and love..

I feel alone..

Lyk what someone told me..
different liftstyles can kill..

2007-05-12T22:15:00.000+08:00

Everything's been great..
don't be fooled by the song..
don't think otherwise..

Tryna make headway in our project..
it's time to get things done..
let's get it over and done with..

You.Attachment.Project.Friends

2007-05-07T20:08:00.000+08:00

Murphy's Law
-ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG
-Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
-If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
-Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
-Murphy's Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
-The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
-It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
-In order to get a loan, you must first prove that you don't need it.
-You will always find something in the last place you look.
-No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
-The other line always moves faster.
-Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
-If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
-If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
-When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
-Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
-Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
-In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
-There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
-When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
-Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
-A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
-In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
-Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
-MURPHY WAS AN OPTIMIST.

2007-05-05T01:31:00.000+08:00

Second week down..
the project is slowly coming together..
needa order each individual parts..
then comes the designing of circuit and modelling..
lots of reading up still to be done..
lots to do still..

At least it's the weekends..
i need a break to recharge..

-ytftommwiwu-

2007-04-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

The short weekend has ended..
and i have to head back to work again..
oh well, at least labour day is on tuesday..

Many things to do..
so little time..

I'm so looking forward to the weekends..

2007-04-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

First day of attachment..
it was hectic..
arrived on time..
security clearances..
screwed up administration..
got down to work..
had lots to plan..
researched on the computer the whole day..
planned schedules..
arranged into gantt chart..
typing research materials on excel..

It's understandable why i don't wana look at the computer no more..

2007-04-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

Attachment starting next week..
in collaboration with final year project..
time for me to experience working life..
gonna be busy..
researching..
designing..
fabricating..
testing..
let's hope everything will smooth sailing..

2007-04-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

I suddenly feel..
i'm nothing..
nothing at all..

it didn't happen once but twice today..
oh well it's friday the 13th..

What am i?

2007-04-06T01:16:00.000+08:00

I just realised how fragil life is..
the visit to the hospital really shook me..
you see weak and sick people all around you..
yet more being wheeled in from the ambulance..
all of them waitin for their turn to consult the doctor..

Thankfully, mum's fine now..
just hope everything is really fine with her..

I love you..
I want you..
I need you..

but i need to weigh everything out..
repetition of all those is not an option..

Life goes on whether you want it or not...

2007-04-03T01:46:00.000+08:00

Everything's fine..
i'm satisfied with the way things are..

Can't wait for SIP to start..
think it'll be so damn cool..
having my attachment there..
DSO here i come! =)

Enjoying my holidays..

-yjmmwlys-

2007-03-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

Whatever i'm doing..
just doesnt have the same effect it used to have..

that same words doesn't feel as much..
the same hugs doesn't feel that deep..
the same kisses no longer gives that sparkle..

Burnt out love..
cause thats what you're giving me..

Do you still feel me baby?

Giving, giving and giving somemore..

ps. don't ask

2007-03-22T04:45:00.000+08:00

Club.Girls.Dance.Mates.High.Troubles-less.Happy

-idwtynm-

2007-03-13T19:13:00.000+08:00

Hope that it doesnt happen..
pray that things will be fine..
control my emotions..
learn from my mistakes..

-wyslmltwylmb-

abby's poem

2007-03-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

you are special, you make me smile,
you make forever seem like a mile.
you're the one who lights up my day,
the one to whom i wanna say.
i love you dearest, not just for a while,
but for more than just a long long while.

hahahaha. okay i can't write poems for nuts. but just a simple thought!

LOVE! <3

2007-03-06T01:37:00.000+08:00

Exams over..
the week really passed by quickly..
just pray that my results are fine..
and that i don't have to take any supp papers..

Headed down to chalet after my last paper..
a small gathering of friends..
played mahjong, blackjack, etc..
though things could have been better..
enjoyed myself nonetheless..

Had dinner with my family on Sunday..
marking the end of chinese new year..
must say the food is really good..

First day of holidays..
resting at home..
slacking around the house..
gonna look for a job soon..

2007-02-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

Exam fever..
it ends 2nd March 2007..
till then see ya around.. =)

2007-02-21T02:38:00.000+08:00

After the numerous visitings,
greetings and shaking hands..
Blink of an eye..
Chinese New Year has flown by..

CNY just don't feel the same..
don't feel the anticipation..
the excitedness..
the happiness..
more of just something we must go through..

Exams up next week..
time to hit the books and study..
it's gonna be over real soon..

I'm enjoying every moment of my life..
although things are pretty stagnant right now..
nothing much has changed..
there's nothing much to look forward to..
things are just the way they are..

-siwihstlfteoml-

2007-02-15T22:11:00.000+08:00

Valentines was great..
no better than to spend it..
with the one you love so dearly..

Thank you for everything..

i love every single moment with you..

-ytwtthtmilyssm-

2007-02-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

With Chinese new year and exams coming..
the next 2 weeks are gonna go by in a flash..
looking forward to CNY but not the exams..
time to hit the books sooner or later..
better try and start early cause it's hard this semester..
the modules are tough i must say..
nevertheless, i have to try and understand..
i must work hard, don't wana regret..

I just want things to stay as they are..
but changes are inevitable..
everything can and will change..
it's how i quickly i adapt i guess..

-mlfywcaihywt-

2007-02-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

i relish this moment in time..
where i do what i want to..
with the people i love..
the carefreeness i have..
just taking the time i have..
to do things that are important..
things my life revolves around..

i'm more than happy with the way things are..
cause of the people i have around me..
i feel more loved than i've ever been..
cause i have you by my side..

assured..

2007-02-04T00:18:00.000+08:00

It's just me..

inbgefy.

2007-02-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

A week since i last updated..
been so busy chionging projects after classes..
going out shopping for clothings..
just been real busy..

Everything has been going pretty smoothly..
feeling slack-ish..
needa gear up for the exams..

two more weeks and we're done for the semster..
two more weeks to chinese new year..
slightly less than a month to exams..

not to mention 6 more days to 4.. (:

ttoymms..

2007-01-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

Don't know what's going on in your mind..
don't know how you feel..
don't know what you want me to do..
don't know why you're treating lyk this..
brought everything upon myself i guess..

Maybe i'm just not good enough..
i'm not what you expect me to be..
i tried..
i tried my best..

wylmlatoghabmh?

2007-01-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

Sorry.. so sorry..
but sorry seems to belittle what's done..
never had the intent of doing..
and there's no point regretting..
look ahead and don't repeat..

everything seems so familiar again..
but don't wanna repeat all over again..
had enough of what i've gone through last year..

i need time..
been so busy with presentations the whole week..
the endless amount of work..

and i just need your..
t
l
c
..

2007-01-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

Been a week since i last blogged..
nothing interesting for me to blog about..
been busy with reports, projects and trainings..
not to mention spending time with family, friends..
and of course, her..

Everything has been pretty smooth sailing..
no major happenings whatsoever..
after chinese new year..
the exams will be coming up real soon..
time to work harder..

Enjoying life with the people i enjoy being around..

2007-01-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

All these while..
i've been trying to be the best i can..
trying so hard to do every little thing..
cause every single detail matters alot to me..
i'm very sensitive..
things where i have learnt to accept..
or taken into stride..
i thought i had..
i guess i haven't really done it..
maybe i expect too much..
or maybe i should just stop trying..

Its been so long since i felt lyk this..
the nostalgia seems so surreal..
It's bothering me so much..

Every single detail matters..

2007-01-08T00:14:00.000+08:00

Back to school again..
first week of school..
results have so far been alright..
so far so good no failures..
been so busy lately with projects..
deadlines looming ahead..
really needa sit down and do..

I find myself with so much to do..
but so little time to really do it..

Happy 3rd month baby..
i love you more than anything..
the times spent with you..
the smiles we had..
the love we shared..
priceless..

If you want the rainbow..
you have to put up with a little rain..
if you want love..
you have to put up with a little pain..

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost..

2007-01-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year Everyone!
may the year be a better one for you..

Sorry for the lack of updates..
just didn't felt like it..

31st December 2006
Headed down to a packed Marina Bay to have Steamboat..
went back to city hall, wanted to go to esplanade to catch fireworks..
the police blocked up so many routes..
we settled along the bridge which was closed..
can't hear the countdown, only when the fireworks came on then we realised..
It was 2007! how ironic the same thing happened the previous year..
held her in my arms as we enjoyed the spectacle of fireworks..
along with my gang of friends that have always been there for me..
i'll never trade the company i had for anything else..
all of us huddled together wishing one another a happy new year..
what a way to start the year..

Looking back at my resolutions..
some things have changed..
yet there's things you will always wanna do..
so here's my list this year..

Resolutions 2007:-

-Better grades

-Train hard

-Love my family

-Love my friends

-Love my baby

2006-12-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Penang!
must say it was a fruitful trip..
had loads of fun..
the the long bus rides..
the beautiful scenary..
the cheap food..
the great company..
the race..
loved everything..
everyone was pretty relaxed..
no pressure to perform..
and perform we did..

I'm flying off tomorrow..
heading to Bangkok..
for my holiday..
looking forward to it..

All i needed was those 3 words..

believe.trust.appreciate.communicate.accept.comfort.love

2006-12-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

I'm off!
Will be back on the 18th..
most probably at night..
take care! =)

2006-12-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

It's been very long since i updated..
been so busy with studying..
term test has been smooth sailing..
been studying pretty hard..
hope to reap the rewards the next term..

I'm off to Penang tomorrow night already..
the weeks have flashed by so quickly..
looking forward to after everything is over..
yearning for the time where i can just rest..
just sleep all day and do nothing..
the only thing is.. when?

We may not see each other everyday..
but deep down we know in each other..
i'll be thinking of you..
and you of me..

i love you more than anything..

-iltgys-

2006-12-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

Term test coming..
i haven't really studied..
i'm so sick..
i'm not ready..

At this point in time..
i feel so stressed..
so many things to do..
so little time..
i must set my priorities right..

All these small niggling problems..
have started to surface..
and those little nigglings..
are beginning to affect me..
the burden of all these..
the tiredness everyday..
i need a break..

Sorry to all the people i may have offended in this period..
the past week haven't been all great..
hope you understand..

I just wish i can let everything go..
and just be free from all these..

uggh.. i feel so frustrated/angry/lousy/sick/emo.. =(

2006-12-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Been down with a bad flu for the past 3 days..
making me feel so lethargic and lousy..
term test and penang race next week..
needa rest and recover as quickly as possible..

Can't wait for everything to be over..
wana go for my holiday..
wana come back and have fun at chalet..
countdown for the new year together..
have all the fun we had..
just like old times..

Don't see the purpose of calling..

i miss my friends..
& i miss you..

2006-12-05T23:14:00.000+08:00

You're off yet again..
this time for holidays..
not another 8 days before you're back..
i'll miss you so much..
this is gonna be a busy month for the both of us..
you gone..
then me..
i'll come back..
then i'll be gone again..

That means more time for myself and to study..
rather timely i must say..
gotta make full use of the time i have..
to finish what i have to do..
so that when you're back my time's all yours..

Absence makes the heart grow fonder..

-ysstm-

2006-12-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

First of all..
Happy 18th Birthday Crystal..!

Training has been pretty hectic these 2 days..
my muscles are aching..
leaving in 12 days for penang..

Don't know what's wrong with me lately..
just overreact to certain situations..
that gets me real upset and disappointed..
the feeling's real bad..
mood swings again..
hope this blows over soon..

read through all my past posts..
for the past 2 months..
guess i was too carried away..
i'll find my way back..
at least now i know where i'm going..

that sense of assurance is back.. =)
you never wavered..

-ijwytbh-

2006-12-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

Had a small surprise gathering..
at kenny rogers just now..
to celebrate crystal's birthday..
thank you everyone who made it possible..
you're finally gonna be 18..
in like 2 days time..
hope ya like it..!
headed over to suntec to catch a movie..
Open Season was not bad..
very funny animated movie..
though the storyline was short and predictable..
left earlier with baby..
cause she had to go back to church..
to help out at camp..
sorry guys.. =)

i just love the way you make me feel..
Our love is strong than ever..

-ysh-

2006-11-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

I just don't have the feel to blog..
kinda have things that i want to say..
but not out here i guess..

Hurt my knee cap..
slammed it against the deck..
while practicing how to stand up and row..
its like damn sore now..
think its gonna be swollen tomorrow..
i think i can still train harder..
eventhough i really gave it my all..

Sometimes words that don't intent..
just makes you think so much more..

eight more days to us..
four more days till she leaves again..
two more weeks to penang..

-imsfo-

2006-11-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

I'm losing the momentum to blog..
cause at this juncture every seems..
so fine, so calm, no qualms to blog..
maybe thats the life i've always pursued..
the peaceful, routined and simple life..
maybe in your eyes its boring and monotonous..
but i really feel contented with everything in my life..

i'll do my best to blog nevertheless..

Baby's back from OGL camp..
2 camps in a row with just a 1 day break in between..
i'll never survive 2 camps back to back..
liked she'd always sae..
she's strong.. Lol..
i'll be looking forward to spending more time with her..
hopefully our schedule doesn't clash..
cause i miss her so much..

-ybaimysm-

2006-11-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

So much has happened lately..
and i dont know where to start..
i'll just blog when the thoughts come..
therefore, this post maybe abit disorganised..

it's funny how people drifts in and out of our lives..
their importance varies from each period or your life..
one moment this person can be one that you confide to..
the next you'd feel lyk you never really knew this person..
thing can just change in an instance..
maybe due to certain circumstance or pressures..
or just basically they're have something better..
and you don't really mean as much..
to see people walk in and out of your life..
leaves uncertainty throughout..
but people learn..
and life goes on..
whether you want it or not..

cherish what you have now..
cause everything can change..
before you know it..

we've both been so busy lately..
its been so hard to find time..
so that it accomodates both of us..
causing so much disappointment..
it kinda tainted everything..
but i want you to know..
i love you more than anything..
so glad we met up again today..
contented and i know things will get better..

I understand i really do..
but there's nothing we can do..
then to trust each other..

Coz there's something in the way you look at me..
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece..
You make me believe that there's nothing..
In this world I can't be..
I'd never know what you see..
But there's something in the way you look at me..

2006-11-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

Day out with my family..
bought a shirt..
finally got my new running shoes!
old pair's sole came out..
cause i was running too hard..
yay! =)

i miss you..
times where my mind just wanders..
to go looking for you..
i'm just very happy bout it..
to know you mean so much..
to cherish all the times together..
to look forward to seeing you again..

2 more days..

-olistao-

Christian Bautista - The Way You Look At Me
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing
In this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

If I could freeze the moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock make time stand still
Coz baby this is just the way I always wanna feel

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing
In this world I can't be
I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

I don't know how or why
I feel different in your eyes
All I know is that it happens everytime

Coz there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world
I can't be I'd never know what you see
But there's something in the way you look at me

The way you look at me..

2006-11-16T23:12:00.000+08:00

My girl's off to camp from friday till monday..
i'll miss her but its only gonna be 4 days..
we've been though longer..
know i would be on your mind..
you'd be on mine too..
though we haven't been together that long..
the depth of understanding to each other..
the sensitivity of everything little thing we feel..
the way our trust for one another never wavers..
you know what i want & i know what you want..
certainly feels lyk we've known each other forever..

i seem to be able to read your mind..
call it telepathy..
call it sixth sense..
i call it love..

I love the way i am around you..
I love the way you make me feel..
I love your random questions..
I love the way you look at me..
I love the way you smile..
I love you..

-iwytbmfl-

2006-11-15T18:39:00.000+08:00

Having a short break..
1 week before i start training again..
will be going to penang dec 15..
for yet another race..
kinda short notice but we'll be ready..

Other then school..
i'm just slacking..
the occasional movies with friends..
most importantly..
spending time with her..

Sorry about what happened yesterday..
didn't know you'd take it so hard..
my intentions were never meant to hurt..
just want you to know how'd i feel..
what's going through my mind..
so glad everythings fine now..

You're the colour of my life..
when all was dull and grey..

Nothing changes..

i love you..

-ibhnaf-

2006-11-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

11th Nov..
got down..
rowed very hard..
but certainly not my best..
didnt concentrate on strategy..
didn't exactly set the best of pace..
we ended up as 3rd position for our heats..
top 2 of each heat and 4 best 3rd position timings qualify..
there was still a ray of hope..
prayed..

12th Nov..
brought all my stuffs..
came down race site & was told we made it..
knew had to correct our mistakes..
feedback & talked it out..
got down got 3rd for our semis..
qualified for plate final..
talked through how to better our performance..
time for finals..
we got down..
focusing on every stroke..
giving our all..
we got a 3rd..

When you know you gave it your all..
you don't feel a tinge of regret..
no matter how disappointing the result maybe..

the sprit that keeps me going..

2006-11-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's race..
everything we have done..
boils down to tomorrow..
1 heat 1 chance..
no regrets..

Loving you makes life so much easier..

2006-11-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

Mindset tuned..
physically ready..
aggression heated..
for that 1 minute of glory..

30 hearts..
1 book..
1 love..
2 paths the same..

2006-11-06T22:52:00.000+08:00

5 Days to River Regatta..
all the trainings we went through..
for the past months..
just for that 1 minute and 30 seconds of glory..
is it worth it..
that is all down to us..
its either we make it..
or falter and regret..
yes the pressure's heaping on..
yes i'm nervous about everything..
but i know when i step into the boat..
i'll give it my all..

Currently hooked on Princess Hours..
its a nice show i must sae..
great looking actors and actresses..
beautiful scenery..
and a corny storyline..
i love lazing infront of the teevee..

you're here..
with me..

-angel-

2006-11-04T21:25:00.000+08:00

Training wasn't as bad as thought..
but i'm pretty shagged..
tomorrow last chance to row before race!
110% nothing less..
then we're off to condition ourselves..
tune for race..
i'll be ready..

I was breaking down..
you called me..
lifted me up again..
nothing else gonna bring me down..
as long as you love me..

-circle-

2006-11-02T23:11:00.000+08:00

Training's very slack..
did little repetitions..
i've no idea why too..
maybe its gonna be tough..
on saturday & sunday..
not bothered my minds on the race..
do as we're told..
coach knows best..

The sediments in the water have settled..
everything's calm and cool now..
i'm loving it..

inner & outer peace..

2006-10-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Beginning to hate Tuesdays..
start at 10am end at 5pm..
got training at 6pm till 9pm..
caught a few winks here and there..
super long day..
so damn tired..

Time..
bout how slow time passes sometimes..
but yet you ask for more time when needed..

Sometimes i just feel i'm such a failure...
its just me..
can't help it..

Anything for you..

2006-10-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

Lessons ended at 1pm..
headed down to century..
to catch Dead or Alive..
storyline kinda crap..
but the guys are not complaining..
den back to TP for PST..

wished you'd tell me..

No idea what's going on..

I'm losing connection..
we need to reconnect..

Sometimes its not either of our faults..
but its how we solve it..

-Loved-

2006-10-29T20:31:00.000+08:00

Race coming up in 2 weeks exactly..
the hype and motivation is going up..
we're doing well, clocking in pretty good times ..
but there's still room for improvement..
cmon guys lets finish this..

Training has been very good in fact..
been resting well over the weekends..
i feel so much better..
another week to look ahead to..
i'll get through it..

The lesser you bother..
the lesser you need to know..
letting things go..
and not thinking bout it..
there's not much to think anyway..
believe my feelings are right..
thats all that matters right now..

We'll work things out, we'll make things work..

2006-10-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

School barely started..
and i feel so exhausted..
don't know what's with me..
just physically & mentally drained..
worn out kinda..
i feel so lethargic..
maybe been stayin up late too much..
tink its taking a toll on me..
will take effort to sleep earlier..
my body just needs time to adjust i hope..

Looking at everyone else's schedule..
worse then mine no doubt..
i mean i'm very satisfied with mine..
i don't know whats the exact problem..
or is it a mixture of problems?
i tink its the latter..
guess its all those itsy-bitsy things..
that are bothering me again..

Yes i'll get through this..
nothing's gonna stop me..
from feeling fine again..
anything for you..

Everything happens for a reason..

Everything you do matter..
every little thing..

-telepathy-

2006-10-26T15:26:00.000+08:00

My timetable's pretty slack..
end at 1pm for lyk 3 days..
but somehow i stl can't really find time..
to catch up with people..
and to meet up with you..

Yearning for the simple life..
but everythings not so simple..
just wana sit back relax..
watch people go by..
time to do whatever i want..

Lyk i said before..
this is a trying time for me..
thing's ain't exactly workin out..
tryna schedule everything..
tryna work everything out..
when things clashes..
and you can't do anything bout it..
its demoralising..
i'm just too tired to plan anything..
wad if things clash again..

I'm tired..

I hope this is just a passing phase of life..
and things will get better..

i <3 you baby..

2006-10-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

Getting used to intensive training..
fitness and endurance getting better..
race in 2 weeks..
push it!

Met up with baby today..
just looked around PS..
with her friends and all..
headed to mind cafe..
played for lyk 2 hours..
games allow people to know each other faster..
yup i had fun..
especially with her around..

One in a million..

2006-10-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

First day of school..
great to see the rest of the guys..
pretty much nothing to do today..
lessons ended at 1pm..
but had CDS at 5pm..
headed down to TM to catch Death Note..
must sae its not bad..
back to school for PST..
dismissed after 30mins..
usual routine to walk to interchange..

More intensive training tomorrow..
den i'll head down to town..

Balancing is not an act..
its not gonna be easy..
but we'll make it through together..

i miss her..

2006-10-22T22:26:00.000+08:00

Training went pretty smooth..
flu caught up with me yet again..
felt kinda breathless throughout..
race coming up real soon..
not fully ready yet..
then again no one can be fully ready..
i'll do my utmost best to be..

School starting tomorrow!
being cooped up at home..
for 2 month is no joke..
got sick of the holidays lyk 1 month ago..
i miss my classmates..
we always have fun together..

I feel this is gonna be a trying time for me..
will need to reschedule my time..
studies, training and you..
i'll work everything out..
i promise..

You're the sweetest thing..
that happened to me..

2006-10-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm happy with everything that has been going on..
sometimes i'd just wished you'd tell me more..
times where i feel so left out..
cause i have lyk no idea..
i wana know..
cause i care..

sharing caring learning understanding loving..
i believe thats the way to go..

Nothing changes cause..
i'm here to stay..

2006-10-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

Been training hard for the past 3 days..
relishing the 1 day break which is tomorrow..
my body and mind needs a break..
a well-deserved one i guess..
gonna spend time with the gang..
looking forward to everything..
lay back and enjoy great company..
just like old times..

Sometimes i just wonder..

2006-10-18T19:07:00.000+08:00

Intensive training has begun..
Muscles aching and hurting..
body needs to recover..
i'm tired..

I feel so alone suddenly..
lyk where's everyone..
felt lyk i've neglected many people..
haven't been talkin to them..
been busy with trainings..
somehow there's just no time to catch up..
things which i seem to understand..
no longer seemed understood..
hate the "i'm drifting away from you" kinda feeling..
where's everyone..
everyone who has stood by me since so long ago..
bah.. random emo-ness..

There is only one happiness in life..
to love and be loved..

i <3 you..

2006-10-16T20:38:00.000+08:00

The haze is getting from bad to worse..
i'm lyk having difficulty breathing..
and a splitting headache..
intensive training starts tomorrow..
all the way to thursday..
last chance to boost our fitness..
before school reopens..

Disappointed..
a friend you always made sure..
he wasn't forgotten..
forgets you..

Oh wells..
I'm gonna see my baby tomorrow.. =)

You don't have to change a thing..
I love you just the way you are..

2006-10-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

Trainings must go on..
cause the race will go on..
guess my body getting used to the haze..
less breathlessness..
and trainings gonna be intensive..
for lyk tuesday, wednesday and thursday..
so sorry to you ya..?
but you understand..
cause you're nice.. =)

I've been learning..
and this is where i put..
what i've learnt into action..
really happy with myself..
maybe its cause of you..
i feel very assured..

Nothing's gonna change my love for you..

6 days..

2006-10-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Few more driving lessons..
den i can book practical test date..
i've come a long way..
from stalling the car to making turns..
just wana drive you around..
wana drive everyone around..

time spent with you..
is time well spent..

appreciated.. =)

7 days..

2006-10-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

Training getting more intensive..
did lyk 100 leg raise, squats and push ups..
after weights and gym training..
not to forget 10 sets of 5 chin ups after..
it hurts only for the instant you're doing it..
builds your mental strength too..
training's super satisfying..

i love your sincerity..
the way your words touch my heart..
knowing every word..
every sentence..
has been well thought of..
cause you really do care..

Time can fade memories..
time can remove pain..
time can don't wait for me..
but time can't stop me from loving you..

Gonna see my baby tomorrow.. =)

iljp..

2006-10-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

Just hoping all these will blow over soon..
kinda expected with the number of friends you have..
but didn't know it would be this serious..
i love you and..
i love everything bout you..
no regrets..
your words bring sweet relief..
you're troubled and i shouldn't add on..
neither can i worry cause..
its beyond my control..
just doing the little things that..
i hope would make your day slightly better..
i'm just learning, understanding and loving..
knowing when i wake up tomorrow..
i'll be a better person for you..

Its just you and me..

I Believe In You by Joe feat N'Sync
I never believed in dreaming..
it never got me very far..
I never believed that love could find me..
like an arrow through the heart..
I never believed in miracles..
or building castles in the air..
Not until that day I found you..
turned around and you were there..
From the day you came, you gave me..
a whole new point of view..
I've been touched by an angel..
it's impossible, but true..

I believe in you..
I swear that forever from today..
no one will ever take your place..
I believe in you..
And I believe our love will last always.

I never believed in fairy tales..
though sometimes I wish I could..
I never believed that golden slippers..
could ever find the perfect foot..
I never believed in magic..
or that wishes could come true.
But your very kiss changed all this..
something only you could do..
You made me a believer..
you made me trust again..
You showed me there's a pot of gold..
at every rainbow's end..

I believe in you..
I swear that forever from today..
no one will ever take your place..
I believe in you..
And I believe our love will last always..

Only love, sets you free..
And if you serve to fate..
then you're my destiny..
Now I know, now I see..
Anything can happen..
if you just believe..

I believe in you..
I swear that forever from today..
no one will ever take your place..
I believe in you..
And I believe our love will last always.

2006-10-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

Yet another haze-y day..
training was slack..
other den the crazed chin ups..
rowing was slack..
race coming up we can't afford to slack..
gonna hit the gym tomorrow!

Headed down to Tampines..
met up with her, Eileen and Minkay..
sat down at mac and just talk..
we should do this more often..
i'm very intrigued by the things we talked bout..
just very funny and all..

I love you..
Not only for what you are..
But for what I am..
When I am with you..

You're lyk the wonderfulest..
is there such word.. LOL..

I love you.. =)

2006-10-09T23:33:00.000+08:00

The day was near perfect..
headed down to Dobby Ghaut..
in the late morning..
met up with her and the rest..
window shopped around plaza singapura..
waiting for the movie to begin..
caught You, Me and Dupree..
touching romantic comedy..
headed down to Heeren..
more window shopping..
had dinner..
took a long bus ride home..
happy nonetheless.. =)

Neglecting no one..
cause you guys stood by me..
when i was down..

A relationship just consist of 2 people..
Wad has they knowing..
Got to do with us wrking things out..
no understanding..

Its those little things that you do..
Your hands fit mine perfectly..

2006-10-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

The haze is making me breathless..
didn't really slept well last night..
my chest felt tight..
felt that i'm not absorbing enough oxygen..
i fell asleep nevertheless..
duely paid for it during training..
from running to rowing..
just felt breathless..
i breathe shorter and faster..
my heart just beats faster..
pumping much needed oxygen..
i need my stamina back..

I've taken a huge step forward..
learning, understanding and loving..
just taking things a step at a time..
slowly but steadily..
things will turn out right..
everything will fall into place..
cause of you.. =)

I'm so glad i've found an angel..

2006-10-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Haze-y Kallang

Haze is just getting worse..
PSI just keeps rising..
having eye and throat irritation..
its lyk so hard to breathe kinda..
there's a tinge of burnt smell..
the air's so unfresh..

Training was very slack..
thanks to the haze..
hope it gets better tomorrow..

I got my answer..
and i can't help smiling..
We'll get through this.. =)

Life's beautiful..
Cause of you..

2006-10-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

Mid Autumn Festival..
the sky's real clear..
the moon's ever beautiful..
and the haze looks better..

Headed over to Pasir Ris Park..
lighted some sparklers..
just basically hung out..
crapped our way lyk old times..
really enjoyed everyone's company..
we should do this more often..
but mayb at a more comfy place..

Find answers..
Don't ask questions..
Answers get you somewhere..
questions don't..

2006-10-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

Why am i emo and all again..
i shouldn't be cause i'm contented..
there's nothing i should be unhappy about..
everything have been going on real fine..
i shouldn't be emo..
blame mood swings.. LOL..
realisation of this eased my shoulders..
not gonna go down again..
not this time..
i'll pull myself up..
it can only get better..
i feel light and jumpy again..
enlightenment!
I love my life right now!
off to training.. =)

You're a blessing..

Contentment is bliss..

2006-10-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Days spent thinking..
just having conversations..
with people that know..
and opinion matter..
time to process them..
and come to a conclusion..
but my heart already has..
it's my mind that hasn't..

i'm just scared to be hurt again..
i hate the feeling of uncertainty..
i don't wana feel lousy yet again..

The line's infront of me..
there's only so much i can do..
time to stop..
till i move on..

Just caught in between..
time will tell..
and god will give me a sign..
i hope..

I need space for myself i think..

I don't want another pretty face..
I don't want just anyone to hold..
I don't want love to go to waste..
I want you and your beautiful soul..

ps: if you're reading this
It's just me..
Thoughts just flow..
and i write them down..
i'm fine.. =)

2006-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Felt down and emo..
no idea why too..
just too many thoughts running..
worrying bout every single thing..
and when i worry i get pessimistic..
its just part of me, cant help it..
just sucks to be me..
spoke to Jeremy bout it..
cause he was part of my worries..
just poured out everything on my mind..
his answers came..
not that they didn't make sense..
but all's fair in love and war..
you don't have to do what you're doing..
shucks i'm still so affected by what i did..

Don't wana go down again..
just as i'm on the ascendency..

I'm not as good as you think i am..

God give me a sign..

2006-10-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Children's Day!
to all kids!
and kids at heart!
me included! =)

Rowing was tough today..
did so many sets of speed rowing..
just did sets after sets of 1 minutes bursting..
can remember exactly how many..
frequency of row was fast paced..
just know that i was constantly gasping for air..
actually i kinda lyk the feeling..
to know that you're on your limit..
there's no way you can push harder..
you just try and hang on to that limit..
enduring the all the pain and numbness..
just waiting for the signal to stop..
you gasp you feel tired..
you know its worth it..

Motivation is the path to success..
and it has a rub on effect on others..

this is so gonna be a long week..
i've been thinking too much lately..
i'm scared..

2006-09-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Training was tiring..
but yet i enjoyed it..
i enjoy the feeling of pain..
knowing you'd really trained..
putting in your 100%..
trainings just gonna get tougher..
its all in the mind guys..

I really miss you..
do you miss me too..?

2006-09-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

Jesse McCartney - Beautiful Soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
There is nothing left to hide
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You beautiful soul, yeah..

2006-09-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Fitness test..
18 chin-ups per minute..
64 sit-ups per minute..
2 sets of 73 and 72 push ups per minute..
9.37 minutes for 2.4km run..

Improvements galore!
i'm very much satisfied..
but that shouldn't stop me..
cause i still have room for improvements..
my 2.4km timing dropped by 9 seconds..
still very much glad with what i achieved..
couldn't have done it without you! =)

I just couldn't disappoint you..
and i'm glad i didn't..

2006-09-25T21:42:00.000+08:00

Fitness test tomorrow..
just gonna put in my best..
praying for improvements..
i feel stronger but i've also gotten heavier..
kinda cancels everyting out..
lets see wad happens..

Thing's going much slower..
still learning always..
to give wholeheartedly..
to appreciate..
to just fall.. =)

You'll be on my mind tomorrow..
through the pain..
know i'll make it..
for you i will..

2006-09-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

I feel lyk thing's are moving quickly..
but yet i don't want them to stop..
i wana feel and grasp this feelings..
and not just let them flow freely..
i don't wana end up lyk the last time..
to not have control over my feelings..
i'm not saying i should hold back..
but at least try and take things slowly..
i feel things can progress abit slower..
for me to fully grasp the feelings..
cause i really want this to work out..
and time is on my side..

Don't wana be too sticky..
don't wana be too rash..
and i don't wana hurt you..

Expectations bring disappointment..
don't expect anything cause i'm not expecting myself..

Can't help thinking bout you..

2006-09-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

Storm has been weathered..
everything looks fine again..
thanks for everyone's concern..
appreciated.. =)

When everything's against the odds..
and you have such great people by your side..
anything's possible..
i love my life now..

I'm falling..

2006-09-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

I don't know where to start..
just too lost for words..
didn't want to write them down..
but couldn't find alternative outlet..
tried to game those feelings away..
but i know i have to blog them down..
if not i'll feel even more terrible through the nite..

When one wound just healed..
only for another to open..
this time, i falied to cherish..
something that i always took for granted..
now everything's crumbling..
right infront of my eyes..
since young when you use to tear..
cause your parents quarrelled..
till when you were a kid..
you shouted at them to stop..
they turned their backs at shouted at you..
now..
you really don't care anymore..
cause you're numbed..
after going through since young..
you learnt not to care..
but this means so much to you..
cause you pity your sisters..
especially your youngest..
she's only 11 this year..
she's going through what your going through..
but so much more..

FAMILY..

2006-09-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

Rowing at Kallang today..
rowed 52 mins non-stop..
tiring but very satisfying..

Ate double chocolate with chocolate chips..
must be too heaty or sumthing..
now i have inflammed tonsils..
i have easily infected tonsils..
could lead to sore throat or fever..
every shallow hurts..
i dun wana fall sick not now..

abby rocks..
she said that not me..
LOL..

Everything's fine again..
not bothered anymore..
words that needed to be said..
are said and understood..
i'm glad to have you as a friend..
now i shall not look back..
but move forward..

I want these feelings stay..
cause you're special.. =)

2006-09-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

Training's getting tougher..
always being pushed to the limit..
your body wants so much to give up..
but your mind keeps it going..
the exhileration of muscles aching..
i relish that feeling..
what doesn't kill me makes me stronger..

Been thinking lots lately..
how do i accomodate..
everyone..
everything..
and of course myself..
so that whatever i do..
i know its the best outcome..
so that i can look forward..
and live without regrets..

Just want everyone to be happy..

2006-09-15T23:37:00.000+08:00

Is it just memories or something more..
i've always believed that it was more to this..
i stood still for you to come find me..
i tried to make it back to you..
feel as though i owe you so much..
somthing happened shook me..
of everything i use to stand for..
wavered my feelings..
now i'm at a T junction..
its either left or right..
one way leads to the risky unknowns..
the other so very heavy traffic..
and you dont know where each will lead..
which one will you choose..?
i can't decide..
this is so gonna take so long..
i don't hate this feeling..
just so very confused..
constantly thinking..

i so hate this feeling..

2006-09-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Training was dead tough..
body felt totally wrong..
must be the alcohol..
binge drinking ain't good..
especially if trainings the next day..
been feeling heartburn since rowing..
gosh the feeling's terrible..
pukey kinda feeling..

i know i shouldnt be doing this..
what i've been doing..
isn't it as good as backstabbing..?
but feelings come..
i ain't sure of everything myself..
time will tell i'm sure..

God give me a sign..
any sign..

When trust becomes a burden..

2006-09-14T10:44:00.000+08:00

Results out..
passed all subjects..
very very lucky..

God blessed me.. =)

2006-09-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

First time drunk..
i can't totally sae i'm drunk..
but semi-conscious..
still know what i'm doing..
but just little oblivious to everything..
and yea i puked..
guess i had a cup too much..
never felt so good before..
just downed few cups..
its only when you started leaving..
den you feel the sensation..

Things done were not foolish..
but meant of how i felt..
thing's i never managed to do while sober..

i'm not drunk just high..!

2006-09-12T21:08:00.000+08:00

Evanescence - My Immortal
i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
and though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

2006-09-11T12:55:00.000+08:00

Friday
Went for driving lessons..
haven't really got the feel..
sharp bends are hard to navigate..
headed to expo..
climbed a little..
open to public anyways..
headed to east coast..
started drizzling..
the strong wind..
and mild rain..
very relaxing..
cleared my mind..
reached Joanne's "BBQ"..
met some new random ppl..
hanged around..
headed back home..

Saturday
Cousin's wedding..
held at Odeon Katong..
inside there's a church..
Cornerstone..
first time attending a church wedding..
pastor talked about death..?
and eternal life..?
kinda awestruck by everything done..
headed down to Sheena's chalet..
ate till i was bloated..
chit chat a little..
played few rounds of mahjong..
walked home..

Sunday
Rowing at Kallang..
back to my usual routine..
trainings..
headed down to expo..
watched ppl dyno themselves..
astounding jumps..
headed back to DTE for dinner..
home sweet home..

Things happening over the past days..
brought many questions to my mind..
but i shall not seek any answers..
for the answers might bring more questions..
i'm just living life day by day..
step at a time..

i truly believe there's a upper being..

Picking up the fragments..
that makes me..
me..

2006-09-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm just so tired..
just mentally fatigue..
this phase of my life..
was too rough perhaps..
why do i keep stumbling..
smashing people's dreams as i stumble..
dampening people's spirits..
i'm a wet blanket..
i can't seem to really enjoy myself..
to really just let go and have fun..
living in this despondent state..
it been long too long..
and its taking a toll on me..
am i at fault to be being lyk this..?

If only you were here..
but heck..
you have your troubles..
since when was i one of them..

Had i loved too deeply..?

Do wishes come true..?